You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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