Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
