The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
