So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
