I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
