your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
