My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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