I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
