you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
