you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
