so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dont even know how to be here
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
