After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
