I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
