I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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