You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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