Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
