Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
