I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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