Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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