the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
