well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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