Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
