Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just googled if crying burns calories
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
