glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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