sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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