now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
