I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
