It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
