I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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