Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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