Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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