it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
