I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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