im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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