i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
