Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
if only i could text you this smell
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
