So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
