He told me they were just razor bumps!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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