I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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