Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
