New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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