it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
