Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
