Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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