I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
