i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
