So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
