she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
