he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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