we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
