you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
