P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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