It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
