I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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