This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
