Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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