Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize