When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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