Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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