So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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