Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
