Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
