just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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