I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
