the day after is always just damage control
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
