Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
