I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
